How To Date A White Man
Everybody wants to know how I got so lucky.
About a year ago, I was hustling to work, sitting around with my girls, talking about how we need to stop just dating black men. None of my girl friends did, but I did. A year later, I’m getting ready to move in a beautiful home in Hartsdale, NY, started a home based business with my soon-to-be-hubby and living life while my friends get older and grayer.
But it’s their fault.
I took it amongst myself and got me a white man!
Yes, in church. I know, so typical. But nothing about our relationship is typical. At first it was just a test, but I started liking him. I learned that dating a white man is different than being with a brother. We all know how it is to date a black man. To make it short: they have lots of inner issues that are unresolved about women, fearful, and often jealous of women.
Let me explain by listing how to date your white man:
How To Date A White Man
1. Ask questions. White men love it when you have questions about their future, past, present, ex-girlfriends, and all of that. They want to prove to you that they are ready, unlike, ahem, some men out there. They share themselves freely which makes you get closer quicker.
2. Let him open the door. White men are very chivalrous. Do not even think about the “independent sister got her own door” move. They pull out chairs, car doors, put your coat on, take it off, and if you have a problem with something they take care of it. They like exerting their manhood.
3. Do your hair. White men no matter how hard they try, hate weaves. They consider it a stereotypical black female thing. It’s wrong. Get a comb, some grease, and a flat iron and make your shit pop.
4. Go for clean looks, and makeup. Unless you are dating Andrew Dice Clay, white, conservative men with money like clean, simple looks on women. Show your legs all the time,
5. Ask him for money. They expect it. White men have no problem sharing. If he is broke, he will help you with what he can. They still have that “white guilt” thing and have no problem helping a sister on a regular basis get on her feet.
Whoa! Go slow!
6. Go slow in the bedroom. White men like to take control in the bedroom. Maybe it’s because they have “size” anxiety but they will take care of their business. Just don’t try to throw it back at him too early, it can intimidate and frustrate him. Take your time, let him get used to your bumper’s size (if you got it like that). After a few times, he’ll be addicted to that part. But be careful, they do believe in entering through the back door!
7. Bring his family a “black” ethnic dish. He’ll love that. They will, too because they’ll have a reason to brag to their friends and it’s what they are used to seeing—black women cooking.
8. Develop a palette. Try different foods and find out about wines. For some reason white men love wine with everything and he will ask you your favorite. Please don’t say Zinfandel or Chardonnay.
9. Buy a good pair of knee pads. White men love the outdoors and sports. You’ll be hiking, skating, running and biking. Get used to it.
10. Leave the black attitude. No matter how much they say they love black women’s attitude and energy, 24/7 it can be annoying. Know when to be quiet and listen to your white man. They are still very traditional and like traditional women, no matter what you see on television.
What should you read next?
A Dating Guide For White Men: How To Approach And Conquer Black Women!
9 Comments
love this I love it, great to know, but what is leaving through the back door?
This was actually an anonymous guest post from another blog I used to run.
I edited that line.
Does it make sense now? LOL
Source Blogger recently posted..A Dating Guide For White Men: How To Approach And Conquer Black Women!
Great tips, Thanks!
Wow. Just wow. How’d she figure all of us out. I especially agree with the kneepads advice, but not for any of the reasons listed. Sorry. That was crude thx lol
I now see what my African American buddies are talking about The title should should say “How to get a man not just white men”, My African American friends that I went to college with do not like black women’s attitudes either. Or any man for that Matter. Last time I checked there is no Line of white men looking for black women. Black women are easy as hell to get. Black women are video vixens and sex slaves and Ghetto gaggers. There is so many videos online portraying you as such its ridiculous. This is why most successful African American men broaden their horizons by going over seas, they know they can get a black women at anytime no problem, African American women are obviously desperate for attention and affection and you go about getting these things the wrong way. Everything on this list is what most men seem to complain about African American women but you’ll do a complete 360 to get a white man. SMH Thats some real BS. What is even more disturbing is that you need a study guide to attract men of other races, Why is it that African American women are always on some TV show or on a blog crying that they cannot get a man? What other race of women does that? I’ll wait…This post speaks volumes about the self image that African American women have of other African American women. This post admits that you are aware that your attitudes are a turn off and I bet if a black man would have made a blog about the same turn offs black women would label him as weak and claim that he cannot handle a strong black women, African American women you are a trip. As a Caucasian man I admit I will sleep with you Black Women but I will never marry one. Truth be told I just want to sleep with you and thats it. My White friends are not checking for black women . Its no secret that African American men have way more options then African American women and this blog only confirms everything African American men say about black women. Your attitudes suck and the list goes on. What happens in the dark always comes to the light you cant keep that fake fasade up forever when the real you finally comes out I’ll kick your ass to the curb. So you might want to think twice about leaning over the fence cause I screw you the leave you faster then my some of my African American buddies would . Wake up were not looking for you if we wanted you we know we could have you…SMH
um…does your white guy know that you wrote this. is he aware of the stereotypical nonsense in which you believe in?? lol. sistah get a clue…
First of all, Mike Lowery is a Black man posing as a White man to vent.
As a Black woman who dates outside of her race. This is by far the worst article on this topic I have ever had the displeasure of reading. Aside from it being all around poorly written. There is improper noun-verb agreement, improper use of syntax (you “take it upon yourself” not “take it AMONGST yourself”), and way too many stereotypes that make Black women look like opportunistic gold diggers and White men to look like stupid captain-save-em lost puppies.
To say “take a black dish to his family’s house” and to “go slow because he has size anxiety…” what the entire hell.
Furthermore, ugh… eff it.
Pearls upon swine has never been truer.
Captain save em lost puppies = silly b*****s?
I can’t decide which is worse…. This article or the comment from “Mike Lowery”. I can’t stand stereotypical nonsense, or people who can’t decide if they are speaking in past or present tense. To each their own, I suppose.